Your CartTake a few minutes and ask yourself these questions. Regardless of your age, are you prepared to handle a medical crisis or an incapacitating injury, that affects you or a family member, if it happened today? Are you prepared if an unexpected death happened to you or a loved one today?
Have you ever been responsible for managing an estate after someone has died?
Not just going in and helping a family member for a day or two to clean out grandma's house, but rather, being fully responsible for the entire process.
Have you ever been responsible for the day-to-day care of someone who is mentally incapacitated from dementia, a stroke, a traumatic brain injury, or other situation that impedes a person's ability to make decisions on their own behalf, even if it is short term?
Psychologically, I don't know that any of us can ever be prepared when faced with these scenarios. As a nurse and someone who has worked with people for 40 years facing these situations, when it hits home, it becomes a different story. It becomes personal and shakes us to our core.
So how we can prepare for when these scenarios arise? How do we decrease the distress and anxiety that arises when families are suddenly thrown into chaos when confronted with these situations?
The sole purpose for writing my book, When The Time Comes, was to help families organize the information that will be needed when faced with these situations.
This brings us to the next big question: Do you have a Will, Durable Power of Attorney, and a Healthcare Representative set up? I hope the answer is yes, but statistics I recently came across tell me that most of you do not. A recent Gallup survey showed that less than half U.S. adults have a Will.
About 75% of the population over 65 have a Will. It drops to 36% for people between 35-49 years and even less for those under 35 years.
Now, take this into account, the CDC recently listed the leading causes of death in the U.S. in 2021 as:
- Heart Disease
- Cancer
- Covid 19
- Accidents (unintentional injuries)
- Stroke
Any and all of these causes of death can happen, without warning, and at any age.
The number one cause of death for people under the age 50 is accidents or unintentional injuries, yet only a third of that population are prepared with the needed legal documents. This age group is most often working and earning a wage to support families, have children, have financial responsibilities and in the prime of their life. And yet, no steps have been taken to identify who will make healthcare decisions on their behalf, who will raise the children, how their possessions will be dispersed, or who will handle their financial affairs. How unfortunate if both parents or caretakers are involved!
I am passionate about people having the needed legal documents in place! BUT, I consider the legal documents only a small portion of what is needed when it comes to taking care of someone who is incapacitated or administering an estate after a death has occurred.
Having all of your personal data and wishes recorded, so that when a medical crisis, accident or death occurs, your family or personal representative, will not be faced with months and months of tedious stress-filled work.
In my 40 years of working with families and also addressing these life events with my own family members, I can attest to the overwhelming anxiety this places on family members or individuals who are responsible for seeing to these duties. This is in addition to the immense amount of distress they are already facing due to the medical crisis or death of a loved one. Now, they are faced with critical decisions to make regarding care, or the steps to take to work through an estate. I know for me, being in that state of mind, is not a time when I make the best decisions.
So how do we change this picture?
First and foremost, we have to have a willingness to begin thinking and talking about this topic. I can't imagine anyone who would knowingly want to leave their loved ones or representatives with these immensely stressful responsibilities. Especially if there is a solution to easing this burden for them before something happens.
This doesn't have to be a “morbid discussion” as many people have said to me. It truly is a practical conversation regarding your personal wishes, your possessions, your day-to-day living needs and wants, and how to maintain your home – when the time comes!
If you stop and think about it, it just makes sense to be prepared! No one can read your mind or possibly know what your wishes are, unless you share this information with them. We plan what we are having for dinner, what clothes to wear to each day, where to take a vacation or a day out. We plan what type of car to purchase and where to live. But we don't want to plan for what will potentially be one the most stressful events that will occur in someone's life.
Alleviate the additional stress and months and months of work your family or representative will have to endure by gathering the important information today. It truly is an act of love!