Your CartWhy did I write When The Time Comes?
My passion for writing this organizer was to help families prepare for an unforeseen medical crisis, a sudden or unexpected deaths, or even a death due to chronic illness or old age.
Over the years, I have witnessed families torn a apart over decisions that needed to be made regarding their loved one's health crisis. At a time when families needed to be holding on to each other for strength and hope, too often, there was bickering and animosity within the family. Even in the best of situations, there were still differences of opinion, different philosophical beliefs, and uncertainty if they were doing the “right thing.” What would Mom want? What would Dad want? What should I do? What should we do? Everyone had an opinion, but they didn't always jibe. This happens most often when the topic of end of life decisions or medical crisis has been avoided within families.
I have also witnessed families sitting around the bedside of their dying loved one laughing, crying and sharing family stories. They knew their loved ones wishes and the burden of having to second guess every decision was made easier because discussions had already happened or their wishes were written down for all to see. The transition for the family was much different in each of these scenarios.
This is often an indicator as to how an estate is settled after a death has occurred as well. I have worked with families when, 10-15 years after a loved one has died, there is still bickering or ill-feelings regarding who provided more daily care, what decisions were made at the time of death, or who got what when the estate was closed.
I think that living through this pandemic and seeing the fragility of life, families are more open to having discussions around these issues. Now is the time to think about, and then initiate these conversations with your loved ones or people who you have entrusted to make decisions on your behalf.
Take the time now to get organized! Yes, it will take time to gather and write the information down. Yes, it will take a lot of introspection. And yes, it will take courage to gather the family and start the discussions. There is no better time than today to start this process. Don't put this off until you are forced to make snap decisions.
Whether it be encouraging your parents, your spouse, or your adult children to do this – to borrow Nike's theme – Just Do It!
I can assure you that the peace of mind you will have when you are prepared, is significant. What a gift and legacy you will provide for your family or those charged with seeing after your affairs.
It just makes sense to be prepared!